Thursday, January 15, 2009

Philip River's Abstinence Mad Libs

All of the _________ [plural noun] and _________ [plural noun] at the conference they y’know…we all come from…from different _________ [euphemism for ‘religion’], but we all agree on, uh, the topic of chastity. It can be so _________ [adjective] when you get all these, uh, young people together in one place to be a part of something that’s…that really is, uh, it’s a _________ [adjective] _________ [noun]. It’s headed in that direction in this culture, and to be able to…to gain some momentum and, uh, and get everything tipping back in the _________ [euphemism for ‘conservative’] direction, it’s, uh, it can be very _________ [adjective]…The Pacific Surge Conference on July 7th will allow all of you _________ [plural noun] to come together in one…one _________ [noun] to interact with one another, uh, on a subject – chastity – that we’re all _________ [verb, ending in ‘ing’] with and that you will continue to _________ [verb] with for the rest of your life, so. I know for those of you who are _________ [noun] fans or…or whatever your _________ [plural noun] may be, if…if they had a conference on that, you’d be lined up out the _________ [noun]. This is equally even more important. Uh, I would encourage all of you to come. I won’t be there in person but I’ll be there on _________ [noun] and, uh, have a _________ [adjective] _________ [noun] for all of you.


Also in the news:

Bob Costas engages in hyperbole, page 5

Finland's Olympic basketball tryouts a quaint, intimate affair, page 8

Brett Favre: "I have the arm of a gunslinger, but the heart of a poet.", page 11

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